YOU KNOW YOU'RE A PLEBE WHEN...

+ the highlight of your night is getting new mail from the Brigade Mislo.
+ you pass time by singing cadences to yourself.
+ for excitement you dare each other to do stupid things at night in the halls.
+ the library becomes a four star hotel.
+ you thank God evey night around 7:30 for being allowed to walk.
+ your summer break sucked.
+ whenever going from point A to point B you plan an emergency exit strategy.
+ you find yourself screaming bloody murder at 6:50 in the morning.
+ shining shoes and studying menus is a pasttime.
+ you're afraid not to read the newspaper.
+ going to class is a refuge.
+ you have to be in bed by 11pm on Friday night.
+ being allowed to watch TV is an honor.
+ your quality of life rests on a football game.
+ you drink no beer.
+ going to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpy involved covert operations.
+ your life stops after your computer breaks down.
+ your self-esteem suffers because you notice you're getting less email.
+ you pray nobody will talk to you.
+ being allowed to call someone by their first name is a priveledge.
+ you find yourself hanging out in the midstore a lot.
+ the only time a woman touches you is when Suzy Q cuts your hair in the barber shop.
+ you made more money in high school than you make now
+ you build up your courage every time you want to leave your room.
+ you're afraid to go to the bathroom.
+ you can count things you enjoy on one hand.
+ you have more weekends than firsties have victories over Army.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A PLEBE PARENT WHEN...

+you skip your neighbor's wedding to wait for that all too fast, once a week, 5 minute phone call -- and then he doesn't call til the next day!
+ you feel guilty enjoying air conditioning during Plebe Summer and beyond.
+ if YOU lost weight during Plebe Summer.
+ you cry every time you hear the hymn "Eternal Father."
+ blue and gold have suddenly become your favorite colors.
+ you live on the net hoping the elusive message will arrive.
+ you have pre-I Day photos on your desk beside those taken over Parents' Week so that you can see the new maturity on your mid's face.
+ you worry about the Bancroft roaches that might hitch a ride to your house during Thanksgiving leave.
+ the sight of the engraved marble slab in Memorial Hall makes tears spring to your eyes.
+ you begin to use nautical terms and find that you understand them.
+ you know that your mid lost more weight over Plebe Summer than the Academy acknowledges.
+ you check the mail every day the way you did when you were in college.
+ your identity becomes inseparable from your mids and even your signature contains reference to him/her.
+ you sent a taller appointee to "I" Day than the one the Academy measured. (note: This actually happened. The DODMERB docs and the pediatrician measured our mid as 5'11," but the Academy said that he's 5'10"...interesting way to camouflage weight loss."
+ the Academy web site is among your list of frequently visited pages.
+ the National Anthem has taken on an entirely different meaning.
+ you look at you clock every night at "lights out" and thank God your plebe is in the rack, off his/her feet and not being grilled!
+ receiving e-mail longer than 4 lines makes you fall to your knees in thanksgiving.
+ you see the world in terms of suitability for care packages: "good box for care Package," "good care package item", "too perishable for care package", "good storage container for Bancroft", etc.
+ your prayers include lines like "and please, God, let [my midn] NOT be one of those on crutches at the game" or "help me to appreciate all upperclassmen...even those on the hall who seem to have sadistic tendencies" ...
+ your friends start to groan/roll their eyes when you start to talk (again) about your mid, the Yard, the Academy
+ you have spent at least 15 minutes since the beginning of August trying to absolve yourself for thinking someone OTHER than your son was in fact your child....
+ you have at least one picture of a good looking plebe you actually thought was your own child, in some formation...you don't know who he or she is, but you can't bring yourself to throw away the print...after all, these are members of the Brigade!
+ you look for ANY excuse to bring you within 100 mile radius of Baltimore on business ... "no, really, I think I do need to brush up on legal issues surrounding maritime patents"
+ when they forecast the course of the NEXT hurricane, you find yourself worried if it's heading to the mid-Atlantic states...and you live in Kansas

If you'd like to contribute additional one liners, send them to us via e-mail.